Constantly Homesick: NO CHOICE because I CHOSE LAW SCHOOL.



Being away from my family is one of the sacrifices I had to do for the dream which was never my first dream at all. Although I could hear a lot of problems when I am at home, that doesn’t change the fact that I am still home unlike having no problem at all but only to study, however, alone  here in the place which I am totally a stranger. I will always miss the noise in the house. I will always miss the sound of laughter at home. I will always miss being an errand girl to everybody as the only youngest sibling left at home. I will always miss cooking, playing with kids, singing along with minus one, talking to everybody as if no tomorrow, attending youth activities in our Church, and a  lot more. I will always miss everything at home.

I thought that I would no longer feel this homesick because I have been always away from my family ever since. I am used to it! I thought. Since I was in elementary, we were never became complete for a long period of time because we are separated from each other. I am always, at least, with two siblings, my two older sisters, but now, I am alone. Until we have grown up. I feel a lot of difference.  Now, I know what it feels like to be away from all of them. It has never been easy for me to live alone.

They say that being in law school, you need to have all the kind of support. You must have first, of course, FINANCIAL support without which you cannot have all the materials needed for law school like books, photocopies for cases and “COFFEE” for long lasting resistance in reading those materials. Second, MORAL support from friends and family which I am so sure that I really have. Third, and perhaps the most important of all, is SPIRITUAL support which I guess I lacked. But I do communicate with God most of the time. I just believe that communicating with Him is not enough. We need to share what we have experienced while sincerely talking to God in which we can touch more hearts and will lead to a SPIRITUAL richness of our own self as well as to others.

As a law student, each day being away from my loved ones is a great challenge to me. I may be able to feel my family’s moral support but nothing compares if they are physically in my side always. I want to see  smiles on their faces to cheer me up despite my failure grades in exams,. Yes, we had communication through the help of technology. But it cannot replace the warm touch of their loving hands tapping my back as if telling me that “it’s okay, just try so hard next time”. Yes, I go home almost every two weeks. But those two weeks away from them could have been more memorable if I am with them. At least just to patch up the years when we were young that we have been far from each other. Seldom we can get together in complete attendance. In a year, perhaps thrice?

As of this moment, I am really suffering the urge to pack my things and go home. But it’s already late. It’s almost midnight. Oh! How can I address this problem. Shall I go home tomorrow? But I have to save money for my books. Instead of going home and spend my allowance for fare, I have to again sacrifice in the name of law school. This is always my dilemma when I wanted to go home. I have to consider my expenses and the hours that I am going to spend in travelling which in those hours I could finish two chapters in a book had I stayed here in my rented room. Quite long hours of travelling. I still did not address this problem, yet I have another problem. HOH! I have to go back reading cases because I still have to make a digest of them all so that it would be easy for me to recite during the oral recitation. NO CHOICE because I CHOSE LAW SCHOOL.

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